Writing Through the Crossroads

Sometimes it’s hard to get inspired, to choose which path to take and to know, with certainty, where to focus my energy. I love to read. Reading opens my mind, widens my horizons as much as learning to do something new. Through reading I get to slip into someone else’s skin, shoes, hat and see the world from their perspective, never completely living their experience since my mind contains it’s own process by which even a narration, when read by me, becomes my own. When I read I grow. In contrast, writing is my outlet. It is the one thing that purges me from myself, that purifies me from the baggage that accumulates and clutters my brain. When I write and I breathe easier, I feel better and lighter. Sometimes I even rise above mortality, to a place where I am indestructible, transcendent. My essence seems to split away, unfold, from my physical body and I can fly through time, space, worlds. Writing can be such a passionate and profound experience that I can rarely re-read what I write. When I return to reality, somehow all that dreaming and flying around seems silly and immature. It’s too much when I a grounded.

So here I am, at a crossroads, full of questions… lacking answers. Can my love for reading and writing become a career? Can these two passions of mine be molded, shaped into a job? Can I do what I love while simultaneously building a curriculum? Can I make money being inspired by writers before me and then spilling my thoughts on white paper in black ink? Can I be “productive” while living my dream? I don’t know. Thankfully, I have a lot to say, and I’ve noticed that my opinions are frequently different from the opinions of the mainstream, which might be of great use. Unfortunately, I have found it hard to sit and write daily. All I can say is that passionate feelings, inspiration, comes in waves and I am hoping I can make them come more frequently and stay longer.

Today I had lunch with one of my father’s friends. His profession is international law, and like me, he is passionate about literature. For two hours and a half we spoke about life, traveling and literature… three things that (to me) are inseparable. We share the same hair-raising awe for authors like Jorge Luis Borges and others who make reading literature an all-consuming, foundation crumbling experience. I was inspired, re-energized, motivated to read and write by just taking about the amazing people that came before me. Did they think about their careers, about publishing, about selling? Or was their need to write, to create so strong nothing else mattered? Or was it a negotiation between both, publishing and passion? Anyway, he did give me some practical advice that (at least) makes starting less overwhelming:

1) Read the entire work of authors you enjoy, considering their underlying philosophical perspective and literary strategies.

2) Write as much as you can about anything you want and send your works to contests, magazines, newspapers, etc. without getting discouraged.

3) Consider projects you are not passionate about as training exercises, dedicating time enough to make progress without overdosing.

4) Enjoy the journey!

Although my questions remain unanswered, they are no longer looming doubts that weigh me down and make me apprehensive about the future. They are just questions, potential decisions, future choices that I will make when the time is right. The important lesson is to enjoy the journey, embrace the adventure!